Interesting Question for Obama

Q & A

I thought I'd answer some questions that have been asked in the comments section of my posts.

My Ice Cream Diary asked...

What are your favorite healthy foods so far?

Hmmm....does chocolate count? Actually I love eating fresh veggies with humus, apples with peanut butter or sharp cheddar cheese, and I'm a big fan of salads and soups.

An Ordinary Mom said...

Apparently I need to enter more contests. Where do you find them all at ... or do you not want to share your secrets :) !!

Calandria said... Those are so cute! And yeah, how do you win all this stuff?

My Ice Cream Diary said... What is your secret to winning all that great stuff?

There are several sites/blogs that consistently have great contests or giveaways. I usually only enter those that require comments and not have to write a full post to link back too. I also only enter if the prize is something really cool that I know I will use. Here are a few sites I keep in my Google Reader feeder so I can keep track of when they offer a new contest/giveaway.

The Opinionated Parent - Where I won the rain boots from. They usually try to help mom run businesses get noticed through their giveaways.
Design Mom - she's got a fantastic giveaway that ends at midnight tonight!
Bloggy Giveaways - run by the same lady who does Rocks In My Dryer.
Cool Mom Picks - they have really fun stuff!
MommyKnows - Where I won Laura's shirt from. She gives away something free everyday! Kim is the owner of The Baby Marketplace where I like to buy cloth diapers and Wild Mango clothes for Ira.

So no secrets. And I don't spend all my time entering contests either. Just seems like I've been really lucky lately.

I am Grateful

For Woman to Woman today, Lei and Morning Glory decided we should list eleven things we are grateful for in honor of September 11th. Do you know how hard it is to narrow down a grateful list to just eleven things? Try it! It is difficult!

Industry meaning work; being actively engaged in doing something productive.

Autumn days filled with the tantalizing scents of spicy pumpkin pies, wassail, wood burning, and steaming cups of hot cocoa.

Music has always been a big part of my life. My earliest memories are of my father serenading us to sleep as he played his guitar. Now my days are filled with the sounds of scales on the piano and screeches from the violin as my daughters learn to express themselves through the melody of song.

Goodnight kisses, especially the wet, sloppy ones planted smack on my cheeks as my children file off to bed. The kisses remind me of the great joy it is to be a mother.

Right to bear arms. My husband is not a sports fanatic. He is into guns and shooting. Knowing how to use a gun for protection is something we cherish. Having and keeping that freedom is important to me.

Acts of kindness, whether large or small, make a huge difference to the lives of others and yourself.

The smell of fresh mown hay, Old Spice deodorant, sagebrush, and a little bit of oil mingled together mean my Joseph is home from work. He is the love of my life, best friend, man of my dreams. I love him because he sees all my faults and still loves me for me.

Evenings spent wrapped in hand crafted quilts made with love. The comfort they bring along with the stories told of my ancestors instill a feeling of pride in my heritage which hopefully is being passed on to my children.

Freshly baked wheat bread, hot from the oven with honey oozing through my slice.

Unwavering faith in God from whom all my blessings flow and in His Son Jesus Christ, my elder brother, my Savior, my Redeemer.

Laughter in all its forms - little girl giggles, deep belly baby laughs, a good grandfatherly guffaw.

What are you grateful for? Feel free to join us at Woman to Woman.

Kindness Matters

Since our traveling fiasco over a week ago, I can't seem to stop thinking about the kindness shown by our 'angel in disguise'. Does he know how much his act meant to me and my family? Probably not. He could have passed on by like all the others cars did. It would have been easier. But he didn't. Why?

I've been recalling past kindnesses shown to me -some big, most small- but all have come when I needed it; a door held open when my arms are full, an unexpected visit from a friend, a smile and wave from the neighbor passing by, frozen dinners filling my freezer after the birth of a baby, a "Great to see you" greeting from someone at church. It gave me pause to wonder how often do I stop to help someone in need? Or maybe the bigger question is how often do I pass up the opportunity to help someone else?

The words of the hymn "Have I Done Any Good" came to my mind.

1. Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

[Chorus]
Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

2. There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
’Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love’s labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.

Text and music: Will L. Thompson, 1847–1909, alt.

I particularly like the last two lines of the chorus "Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, A blessing of duty and love." It feels good to do good. So why am I not more kind, more nice more often?

If a smile or a hello or simple kindness can bring happiness and joy into someone’s life, how great is our potential to brighten this world with the influence of “Christlike niceness.”
~Rex D. Pinegar~

I'm starting each day with a renewed resolve to be more kind to brighten my own world with "Christlike niceness". Of course I'm starting with my family - reading a book, making a favorite meal, giving compliments for example. So far it's made for calmer, happier days. And I can see an added bonus - without realizing it, the girls are following suit!

Kindness does matter.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A couple of weeks ago, while I was in Tooele, Lei from my Many Colored Days presented me with the Nice Matters Blog Award.
It is for "those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends & those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you've been awarded please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award."

Athena
Calandria
Corrie
Kim
Vanessa
Inga
Tasra

They all deserve it!

Or-gan-ize

or·gan·ize verb, -ized, -iz·ing.
verb (used with object)

1.	to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action: to organize a committee.

2.	to systematize: to organize the files of an office.

3.to enlist or attempt to enlist into a labor union: to organize workers.
4.Informal. to put (oneself) in a state of mental competence to perform a task: We can't have any slip-ups, so you'd better get organized.

School starts on Monday. I woke up with the state of mind of definition four. Today I am organizing my workers (definition 3) to clean the schoolroom while I organize the supplies (definition two). Tomorrow for Family Home Evening we will all decide on a schedule for our school days that hopefully will result in everyone coordinating and banding together for a more smoothly run household.

Okay, that's the ideal but we all know life has a funny way of sideswiping you to make you change direction. Next weekend, for instance, is our Tri-County Fair where Eve and Marie have to show their chickens for 4-H. All the girls have also decided to enter various drawings, paintings, blankets and desserts. Which means entry forms to fill out, lots of them. Which also means spending all day next Saturday watching the 4-H presentations (I know you're jealous, those are sooo exciting - note the sarcasm) and browsing through all the exhibits to find the girls' entries on display. Next week we also have to go to Reno (three hours away) because two of Eve's brackets fell off yesterday. Oh, joy. Joseph always says, 'Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed!' Which makes me wonder - did he do that when he chose me for his wife? :D

Even with all that's going on my new habit this week is to organize each day's activities so we can complete at least these essential things:
*Family Scripture Study
*Family Prayer
*School done by 1pm

I'm not asking much am I.

4 x 4

It's only been a week since Jen tagged me. Do meme's come in bunches? It sure seems like I've been doing a slew of them lately. Anyway, here goes.

Four jobs I've had:
1. Doctor's Receptionist (I worked for my dad)
2. Piano Teacher
3. Mary Kay Consultant
4. Mother

Four places I have lived:
1. Salt Lake City, Utah
2. Miami, Florida
3. Byron, Georgia
4. Rexburg, Idaho

Four favorite T.V. shows:
1. Jeopardy - Joseph hates to watch this with me. He doesn't like me answering before the contestants.
2. Fox News - so I can stay Fair and Balanced :D
3. What Not to Wear (You can nominate me for the show here)
4. Dirty Jobs - Is it terrible to like watching Mike Rowe get dirty? He sure can sing though.

Four favorite foods:
1. Chocolate
2. Potatoes - cooked any way
3. Wendy's French fries dipped in a chocolate frosty
4. Paella - cooked the way my Avi does it

Four websites I frequent:
1. Google Reader
2. National LDS Homeschool Association
3. Sugardoodle
4. Lands' End or BodenUSA depending on my mood

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Barcelona, Spain - sightseeing the place of my ancestors
2. Wales - again visiting ancestral stomping grounds
3. Mexico - more ancestry stuff
4. At a spa

Four Movies I love:
1. The Man From Snowy River
2. Return to Snowy River
3. Friendly Persuasion
4. McClintock

Four Bloggers I tag next:
Athena, Corrie, Alina, Inga

I'm Gonna Rock Around the Clock

I have this annoying (well my girls think it's annoying) little habit while driving of tapping my thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat of whatever music happens to be playing: classical, pop rock, jazz, you name it. It really drives whoever is sitting in the front crazy. What's so funny (or sad) about it is I remember the same habit making me bonkers as I watched my mom driving down the road. (AAAaaaa! Help me! I'm turning into my mother!) When I'd point it out to my mom she'd just laugh and say something like, "Oh, am I driving you crazy?" and then she'd proceed to start dancing wildly while I'd just slump lower in my seat and hope we didn't pass (I mean pass, my mom has a lead foot) anybody I knew. And of course, I now do the exact same thing to my children. Only they'll ask with a big rolls of the eyes, "Mom, now what are you doing?" And I always answer, "Just rockin' out, dear!"

So even, if my girls don't think I rock, Lucy of An Ordinary Mom does. She has awarded me the Rockin' Blogger award.So it is now my privilege to pass this award forward to five other rockin' bloggers. This was very hard to narrow down!

1. Kim at mommyknows.com is a fun read. She owns The Baby Marketplace where I like to shop for cloth diapers and Wild Mango boy clothes for Ira. She's also been giving away free products from her site all summer long.

2. Tasra at Lessons From the Scrapbook Page has wonderful, easy, scrapbook ideas and photography hints. She writes a column for 5minutesformom which I thoroughly enjoy reading too.

3. Corrie at Tyler's Triumph is a great mom with lots of good ideas. We have very similar music tastes and I always enjoy watching the videos she shares.

4. & 5. I can't forget my sisters at Goober Gobs and Convoluted Brainwaves. They make me laugh, cry, love like sisters should.

Spiritual Renewal

During the dog days of summer the farming is relentless. Our schedule gets topsy-turvy. Everything is done according to the weather. Work is done day and night. Though I think I'm organized I have found one thing lacking. My daily personal scripture study has become almost obsolete for these last couple of weeks. Boy, can I feel a difference. My days seems to zip by without any meaning to them; they are one big discombobulated mess. My spirit is becoming malnourished without that constant feeding off of holy script. So my new resolve this week, the TOP of my priority list is to read, ponder, and study the scriptures.

"What a glorious blessing! For when we want to speak to God, we pray. And when we want Him to speak to us, we search the scriptures; for His words are spoken through His prophets. He will then teach us as we listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If you have not heard His voice speaking to you lately, return with new eyes and new ears to the scriptures. They are our spiritual lifeline."
~Robert D. Hales~

I love the scriptures. The language is soothing and calming. They bring peace to my soul and renew my spiritual strength. Now that I'm feeling good on the outside, I want to feel good on the inside. I know I should have worked on this the other way around but at least I'm getting there!

Here are my other habits I'm working on:

Habit 10 Look my best each day - I was 95% for the last two weeks and I felt great!
Habit 9 Mark my habits off on my chart
Habit 8 Read to my children everyday. LOVING THIS!
Habit 7 Hand written letters - easy when the goal is only one a week!
Habit 6 Latch on to the Affirmative doing great!
Habit 5 Stick to a school schedule
Habit 4 Tickle the Ivory
Habit 3 Clean as I go - becoming a habit!
Habit 2 Use positive reinforcement-noticed a huge difference in my children
Habit 1 Exercise for 30 minutes every day

So happy together

"Whether you've been married for 38 years, 8 years or are a newlywed, you've probably picked up a few of the keys to a happy marriage, one which is nurturing and continues to grow. Maybe your marriage has struggled, but you've found a road back to each other and have insights for those in similar situations. What would you say are the three most key elements in your marriage that keep the romance alive and the heart aflutter? "

Our wedding announcement photo

Joseph and I have been married for 12 1/2 years now. Because we believe marriage is eternal we were married in the Salt Lake Temple. We each covenanted with God that we'd stay true to each other. It's rather surreal how it seems like just yesterday we were married, and at the same time, it seems like we've been married for ages. I truly feel we have the 'ideal' relationship. I don't know of any other couple that gets along as well as we do. We truly are made for each other, which is a rather strange thing to say because we are so different in many ways. However, we are alike in many more ways. It's hard to narrow down the things we do to keep our marriage happy and healthy but here goes.

#1 We unselfishly serve each other. Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100. We try our best to make sure the other is comfortable, happy, and cared for. After a long day of work Joseph deserves to come home to a clean house, a good meal, happy children, and a loving (not nagging) wife. Joseph, in turn, works hard to provide for my needs and my wants. We've been blessed with very little problems or disagreements throughout our marriage. When one does creep up it's usually because of selfishness. We've come to recognize that and are quick to fix it.

Along with making sure our physical needs are met, we try to also make sure emotional needs are met. We compliment each other. When I'm told "You look beautiful today" it sends my heart soaring.

#2 Pray together. Nothing compares to the sweet spirit that comes when you petition the Lord as a couple for the welfare of your family.

#3 Small talk and love notes. We both look forward to the end of each day when the kids have all been sent to bed, usually by 9pm. The house is quiet and it's just us. In the winter time we sip hot chocolate, in the summer we drink chocolate milkshakes and just talk - about our days, our goals, the children, the gospel. This is our time. On the days when we know we won't be able to talk - like during the haying season - we leave love notes for the other to find. I'll slip one in his boot where he'll find it in the morning or he'll snap a picture of himself holding a sign that says "I love you, Shorty" that I'll see when I upload pictures onto the computer. The notes aren't fancy just short, sweet and to the point. They are little reminders that we are thinking of one another.

So there you go. No fancy words of advice. Just simple acts we do for our marriage. They work for us. After 12 years of marriage, Joseph still melts my heart.

Cheerfully Optimistic. . .yeah I'm one of those

"You know, it's rather nauseating to be around you sometimes. You are so cheerful and happy, it really makes me sick."

I was told that once a few years ago by someone I considered to be a pretty good friend.

"Really? I really make you sick?"

"Yeah. Sometime, I'd like to see you have a bad day and act miserable." My jaw literally dropped.

"I do have bad days."

"Sure. But they don't make you miserable or cranky."

I chuckled. "Oh. Well, I only reserve my cranky moments for my husband to see."

"Yeah, I bet if I asked him he'd say you are never cranky," my friend answered sarcastically.

"Okay, tell you what. Next time things aren't going so well I'll give you a call and tell you all the bad stuff in the crankiest voice I can."

"Bet you can't do it."

You know what? She was right. I couldn't do it. I tried. But ended up laughing my head off instead. I could not make myself miserable. Now don't get me wrong. I have just as many bad days as the rest of them; days were nothing seems to go right. But I don't allow myself to wallow in self pity. I am hopelessly optimistic, no, cheerfully optimistic and apparently that drives some people nuts.

But it hasn't always been that way. Have you noticed? LIFE IS HARD! Life is hard but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. Here's the challenge. How can we cultivate an attitude of happiness? What if I was born cranky? What if I'm constantly bombarded with ill health? What if I'm stuck at home with squirming children who are conspiring against me to spill every gallon of milk in the fridge so that I have loads of smelly towels to launder and little time for me? The first step is to realize who you truly are. You are a child of God.

It is difficult to make a man miserable
while he feels he is worthy of himself
and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
~Abraham Lincoln, 1862~

Don't you as a parent want your children to be happy? God is our heavenly Father. He created us, you and me, and wants us to be happy too, not later on, but NOW. We need to stop blaming others for our unhappiness and realize that happiness comes from within. We have a choice.

I have two choices. I can choose to be happy
or I can choose to be sad.
I choose to be happy. ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley~

And that's my secret - the motto I have for my life. I choose to be happy. It's a conscious choice I have to make every minute of every day. But it works. I see too many people who are constantly walking around moping under clouds of discouragement and gloom, who never look up and see the sunshine. Of course there are times when we are discouraged or full of sorrow, hours spent in anxiety and concern. But the Lord has told us to be happy.

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear,
for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you" (D&C 68:6)

So will you consciously choose to be happy too? The next time someone asks "How are you?" reply, "Happy!" instead of the usual, "Oh, fine." Try to be the kind of person that lifts others spirits. Ask yourself, "What can I do to make life happier for someone else?" SMILE!

Thee lift me and I'll lift thee
and we'll both ascend together.
~John Greenleaf Whittier~

We can do it together.

Keep It Simple

The topic is "Having the latest baby everything", which will be particularly relevant to today's young mothers. There is such a variety of baby products available in stores that it can be overwhelming. Add to that the pressure you often feel from your peers to have the latest and greatest of baby equipment. Add to that still the bombardment of products that promise to make your baby smarter, faster. When you want to be hip AND have those things that make mommying a little easier, how do you keep from breaking the budget?

I must not be very hip. It's either that or I'm a cheapskate. Because I don't give a darn about acquiring the newest, coolest, whatcha-ma-do-dad, make your baby the smartest on the planet do-hickey. Oh, no! What am I doing to my kids? Well, I'm letting 'em be kids. Letting them use their built in imagination and creativity. You can't tell me it's more fun pushing colorful buttons on a fancy toy to make it light up and play music than it is to create your own symphony using pots and pans and a good ol' wooden (or metal) spoon. Have you ever been to the moon riding in a space shuttle made from a large refrigerator box? Or crawled around on the floor with your one-year old, mooing like crazy, while your 4 year old ki-yips you into a 'corral' for branding?

My philosophy on child-rearing is to keep it simple. Babies love nothing more than a mother's soft caress, and face-to-face human interaction. I know you've all seen it - how a baby's face lights up with an adorable, gummy smile when his mother walks into view. But, of course, mommies need their own "me" time. So here's a few basic staples of baby equipment and toys that I've used, and my children have loved or benefited from.

EQUIPMENT
#1 Crib - skip the cute little bassinet that only safely works for the first few months. Our first crib was bought at a yard sale for $40 and lasted for six children. We've had to get a new one for Ira. The old one just totally fell to pieces when we tried to set it up. I honestly don't know whether that was because it was old or unduly worn out from Dad getting in it when playing hide and seek with the girls.

#2 A bouncy seat - worked for half of my kids. The other half didn't care a bit about it. So I suggest borrowing one to try it out.

#3 Car seats- At first we bought Eve's car seat at a yard sale. But after two years I realized this was an area I didn't want to skimp in so we bought our car seats brand new. And with laws now dictating that a child be in a booster seat until eight years old (at least in our state) we've had up to four car seats or booster seats at one time in our Suburban.

#4 Quality clothing - I love yard sales. But I am very, very picky. I only buy brand name clothes because they really are the only ones that last. My favorite brands are Old Navy, Land's End, and Gymboree. Children's Place is pretty good but their clothes have worn out faster than the others. Having seven children I firmly believe in hand-me-downs for play clothes but for 'going out' clothes they each deserve their own brand new pieces. Now we live 1/2 hour away from the nearest town and yard saling really isn't a good option anymore. So here's my little secret for getting brand-new clothes for free. I use my Discover card for all purchases. (Note: This will not work if you don't have good self-control and pay off your credit card in full every month) And I mean all purchases, groceries, Wal-mart, hardware store, internet shopping, etc. And I rack up my cashback bonus points. Then I use my points for gift cards from Land's End and shop their overstocks. And it doesn't cost me a cent. Especially when I take advantage of their free shipping offers.

#5 Cloth Diapers - This is honestly just a matter of preference. I used disposables with my first but switched to cloth with my second child and have used them ever since. And, no, I don't waste my time on laundry away from my children. I bought enough cloth diapers to last a whole week so I only do one extra load of laundry a week. That's what, 5 minutes total to throw them in the washing machine and then into the dryer after that? I don't even bother to fold them. They get placed in a nice $5 wicker basket from Wal-mart and put on a shelf. But like I said, this is just a matter of personal choice. You can read all about my cloth-diapering here.

#6 Baby Carriers - I LOVE baby carriers. They free up my hands to do things while still keeping the baby with me and happy. I have used two types: my Baby Bjorn for when they are little (up to six months) and my Mei Tai for when they are older. The Mei Tai gives me flexibilty to hold them in the front or the back.

TOYS
#1 Stacking Toys - Wooden blocks, large legos, and Wedgits have real kid appeal for ages 6M on up.

#2 Exersaucer - Bought used of course. Great for keeping the pre-walkers occupied and sitting up to see all the action.

#3 Any household item big enough to not be a choking hazard. Creativity and imagination required.

#4 Books, books, BOOKS! I love books - board books, pop-up books, touch and feel books, quiet books, story books. What child doesn't love snuggle time on a parent's lap reading a good book?

Okay, there you have it. Montse's views and recommendations. Thanks for bearing with it!

If you are interested in reading more women's views on this topic visit Lei or Morning Glory to see who's written posts.

What color are You?

Here's a fun little quiz to take. It's not the same as the Color Code. But still very accurate. At least it was for me!

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionally. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

If you take the quiz, mosey on back and let me know what color you were.

Moan say what?

Those who know me (I'm talking friends, not family) probably remember the first time we were introduced and heard my name spoken. OK, you probably don't remember anything except that it was very strange, different, and hard to pronounce.

Montserrat

How do you say it? Mon see rat? Mont say rat? You see why I usually just prefer to tell people my nickname. Montse. That in itself is hard to pronounce, but it is easier to remember, you just take the rat off and say moan see. You know, you moan when you see me coming and say "Oh, no! Not her again!"

When I was little and my siblings and I would get in arguments they'd call me monster rat because that's what my name spelled if you switched the t and s. In fact, that's what was on my Costco card for a whole year Monsterrat. What's worse is I didn't notice it until 5 months after I had the card!

So once and for all, here is how you pronounce my name. For those who speak English it's easier to say Mawn-ser-RAHT. You can hear the English version pronounced here. The proper way to say it is mon-seh-RAHT. This link was the best I could find to hear it pronounced correctly. It is actually pronouncing the full name of a Catalan singer so just listen to her first name.

I love my name. It is a family name reminding me of my Catalan heritage. It's just not a common name for the states so I've had to deal with mispronunciations all my life. But it makes hearing my name pronounced correctly that much more gratifying. I really appreciate it when friends (and family!) take the time and effort to pronounce it correctly.

And now for your viewing pleasure, and a good laugh, you can see what a hard spot I put poor Lara of The Lazy Organizer in when I won the May drawing for Smart Habit Saturdays. Click here to watch the drawing. I must say, Lara did a darn good job of pronouncing my name. That's the closest anyone has gotten having never heard it before. Cheers to Lara!

And in case you are wondering where Montserrat comes from, it is a mountain north of Barcelona, Spain. You can see a slide show of photos here.

Words of Wisdom

I've been trying throughout the day to think of something sweet and profound to write on the topic of motherhood. But after cleaning the house, bathing the children, changing cloth diapers, refereeing squabbles, practicing for a song the girls and I are singing in church tomorrow, folding laundry, and eating chocolate cake I decided to reread some of my favorite talks on mothers instead. Now I'm sharing them with you. Enjoy! Oh, and . . .

Happy Mother's Day!

Do Well Those Things Which God Ordained by Virginia U. Jensen "Children, who are our literal legacy from the Lord, require our diligent, prayerful, loving mothering."
Because She is a Mother by Jeffrey R. Holland "If you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."
Families - It's About Time by Virginia U. Jensen "Mothering does take lots of time, but you can't do everything. So, prayerfully consider your family's needs and personalities. Prioritize your tasks according to your circumstances. Then, attend to those needs as best you can in the time you have. Value your family time because it is priceless."
Behold Thy Mother by Thomas S. Monson "Who can measure a mother’s grief? Who can probe a mother’s love? Who can comprehend in its entirety the lofty role of a mother? With perfect trust in God, she walks, her hand in His, into the valley of the shadow of death, that you and I might come forth into light."
The Touch of Human Kindness by Bruce C. Hafen ' "Home-work" is the Lord's work.'

Family Matters

Tips and Tricks:
Getting the Family Together.

In today's lifestyle, it's sometimes difficult to get the whole family together at the same time. Kids' sports, music lessons, church meetings and many other things keep families on the go. What have you found to be successful tools for bringing your family together during those times when it seems that everyone is going different directions? If you are Empty-Nesters, what did you do when your children were still at home? What works today for getting together with your children and grandchildren?

The farming/ranching lifestyle lends itself well to having family time almost all the time. Throw homeschooling in the mix and, voila, we are together almost 24/7. Family, both immediate and extended, is extremely important to my husband and me. We wouldn't have it any other way.

One of our main goals is to create a refuge from the world. We want our children and all who enter our home to feel loved, cared for, respected. We hope the family bonds we create now will keep our children grounded to sound moral values and keep them focused on what truly matters. We hope that when they leave to start families of their own they will remember with fondness the times we shared and will continue to share.

I've listed below just a few of the activities we enjoy doing together as a family.

"What matters most is what lasts longest, and our families are for eternity."
~M. Russell Ballard~

Daily scripture study and family prayer. Nothing beats the feeling of love that permeates our home when we study the word of God and talk to Him, thankful for our abundant blessings and, yes, even our trials.

Mealtimes. We eat every meal together as a family. We take the time to set the table properly, that includes a tablecloth. Lunch is our biggest meal of the day. It's also the hottest time of day so we can count on Dad being home to eat at a certain time to get out of the heat. We have many traditions centered around food. The most frequent is eating pancakes every Sunday on our finest china.

Family Home Evening. In our church we are encouraged to dedicate one evening a week where we can spend time together - have family councils, discussions, games, etc. Typically it is on a Monday but during the hectic farming days of summer we hold our family home evenings (FHE) on Sunday. Everyone participates rotating between who is in charge of treats, games, lessons, songs, etc. You can see some of the things I've made to use for our family home evenings: paddle board stories (and pattern), flannel board stories, a game, and our FHE box (scroll down that link to see the picture).

Family History Stories. Our children love to hear stories about their ancestors. It gives them a sense of belonging when they know who's come before them. We have a whole wall in our living room full of ancestor pictures. Point to any one and chances are my kids could tell you who they are, how they're related, and some story about them.

One-on-One Time. With seven children we feel it's important that no one gets "lost in the crowd." We try to spend some time with each one individually. We snuggle on the couch and read books, take walks, or work on a project. The kids love to go work with Joseph. And he is able to take them.

There are many other things we like to do: go for rides in the mountains, target shooting, read books out loud, visit with relatives, etc. Whatever we do, we hope that our children realize that our family matters.

Mary's Heart

Last week when I took Eve and Sara to Reno to get their braces we were able to go to Deseret Book and do some browsing/shopping. I was scanning all the framed artwork on their walls and was stopped in my tracks by this painting by Liz Lemon Swindle.It's called Mary's Heart.I know what I'm saving my rewards points for!

We are studying her artwork this month for the LDS Mother's Educational course. If you haven't seen her artwork before, it is stunning. It evokes emotions on a deep level. Click here to read a short bio. After the bio is a menu to view her artwork.

A sister from my ward, Laurie Woodland, has written a book about Emma Smith. It will be published by Deseret Book and is slated to come out this fall. Liz Lemon Swindle's artwork will grace it pages. I'm so excited I can hardly wait!

When all else fails, faith remains.

Our topic on April 24th will be "Enduring health problems - either your own, a spouse's or a child's". I know there are many bloggers out there who post almost exclusively about their hardship with health issues... there are women out there struggling with infertility, there are children out there with debilitating diseases, there are spouse's who need constant care and attention. Some of us may only know somebody dealing with these challenges and have observed how they cope. Others of us may have personal experience with having to endure such difficulties. Please share your stories, whatever they may be!

My particular trials in life do not include having to endure health problems. My family and I have been blessed with good health, strong bodies and immune systems. I have not had to deal first hand with any issues that fall under the ‘health problem’ umbrella. Because of this, I didn’t feel I had anything of worth to contribute until I began thinking about my husband’s side of the family, particularly his grandmother and great-grandmother. I realized I could write about the great legacies of faith and courage they have passed on to their descendants; the effect the cancers that took their lives still have on the family today.

Those who are familiar with my LDS faith, and particularly our prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, have heard of his wonderful mother, Ada Bitner. She came from stout Mormon pioneer stock. She also died of breast cancer when she was fifty leaving her five children ranging in age from ten to twenty years old. Of his mother President Hinckley has said, “From Mother I learned so many things, including respect for womanhood, together with an appreciation for the tremendous strength which she carried within her, including a bright and happy zest for life.” Because he is our prophet his mother’s death, and the subsequent heartache the family felt, is a familiar story to us. Less familiar, but just as poignant, at least in our family, is the story of Ada’s youngest child, Sylvia.

Ada

Ada with her family. Sylvia is the littlest girl in front.

Sylvia was ten when her mother died. How hard is it for a child to loose the warmth, security, strength, guidance, and discipline only a mother can provide? She persevered though, staying true to her mother’s teachings. Sylvia married and eventually had ten children. She raised them to be stalwart and true to their faith. And then, quite unexpectedly, Sylvia found herself suffering from cancer, going through an ordeal much like her own mother’s battle with the awful disease. Though the science of medicine had come a long way in the forty years since her mother’s death, it was not enough to save Sylvia. She died on February 6, 1970, one month shy of her 50^th birthday. Her youngest boy was seven, her youngest daughter ten. Even more tragically, they lost their father, my husband’s grandfather, only a year later. He died of a brain aneurism.

Sylvia

Sylvia (sitting in the middle) with her children and a few grandchildren.

This was taken the year before she died.

The earthly lives of Ada and Sylvia both ended dismally, however the lives they lived were anything but. Through their pain and suffering, their courage and faith shone as bright beacons of light to their families, their children. They put their trust in God, knowing He could heal them if it was His will. And if not, all would still be well. What was said of Ada rang true for Sylvia, “He who taught her how to live surely taught her how to die.”

The poise and grace these two women possessed carries on, as does their great faith in God. If Sylvia were alive today (she very well could be as she was the same age as my grandparents, all of whom are still alive) she would enjoy the company of not only her children and their spouses but her 105 grandchildren and 101 great-grandchildren. Our association with her will have to wait until the hereafter. So, for now, we pass her story, their story, along to our children in the hopes that they will learn, in Sylvia’s own words, “When all else fails, faith remains.”

Pearls Before Breakfast

Ever since I read this article in the Washington Post (thanks Calandria for the link!) I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Joshua Bell, one of the world's greatest violinists, posed as a street musician to see if he - and his Stradivarius - could stop busy Washington D.C. commuters on their way to work. What do you think happened? Read the article to find out and don't forget to watch the video clips as well.

Who is a thinking blogger?

Can you believe it? Julie has nominated little ol' me for a thinking blogger award. I don't usually write great posts that make people think. I just write about what's happening in my life and sometimes I get on a kick and decide to write about what I am thinking, or feeling, or pondering about. I don't feel I deserve the award but in order to pass it on to more worthy folks I have to accept it first.

So what is a thinking blogger award? It is an award and a meme. There are rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

3. (Optional) Proudly display the “Thinking Blogger Award” with a link to the post that you wrote.

So here are the five blogs that make me think (this means you are now nominated):

I am putting Calandria and Athena together even though they've already been nominated by Julie. This two women were instrumental in helping me start my own blog. They are both articulate, smart, and fellow home school moms. (I still consider them home school moms even though their children now attend public school). We ''met" on an LDS Homeschool e-mail group several years ago and they have offered great advice and support. They make me think about books, art, photography, education - you name it.

Whenever I want to think about all the joys of being a mother and want to read about silly, sweet antics that children do I read my sister's blog Convoluted Brainwaves. Ness is not afraid to speak her mind, which is one of the things I love about her.

My friend, Jen, is a deep thinker. She majored in psychology but is also an artist and musician. She has a witty sense of humor, wide expanse of knowledge, and two of the cutest (and smartest) kids in the world.

My next nominee doesn't write she creates. Alina is an artist, a very good artist. Her art work makes me think about nature and creation. She does digital art which if you haven't seen can look very, very cool. As a side note, our husbands are both descended from a great pioneer, Joseph Stacy Murdock.

Nicole is a wonder woman. She is good at what she does and goes full steam ahead. A staunch Republican, home-schooling, military wife she has written many good posts about politics, LDS women, and homeschooling (not all in the same post - though that would be interesting don't you think?).

Educating of Mother

Imagine arriving at church with your family 10 minutes early, dressed in your Easter finest, prepared to sit quietly, listen to the prelude music, and be uplifted and edified. Other families are also entering the chapel and settling themselves down to hear an inspirational message. Instead a two-year old cherub decides she wants to change seats so she can sit by mommy and proceeds to resonate her beautiful voice whine loudly. The whining gives way to crying, even after mommy holds the little dear in her lap. No amount of threatening consoling seems to help. Mommy stands up to take the child out and the crying changes into full blown wails, “NO! NO! Don’t take me out, Mommy! DON’T! I don’t want to go out! Help!” This was our reality on Sunday. Little Laura informed us on the way to church that she was tired and cranky. Boy was that the truth! Church hadn’t even started yet and we were out in the hallway already.

We’ve all experienced embarrassing moments when no matter what we do our children still behave contrary to what we expected. (If you haven’t experienced that, then you haven’t been around normal children). I have left carts full of groceries parked in the middle of the store as I make a hasty exit with a disruptive child, profusely apologizing to a store clerk for abandoning it. I’ve struggled with trying to teach children who learn in different ways. I’ve also anxiously worried about a child who refused to talk unless there was just family around. (In the old days it was called being shy, nowadays it’s called selective mutism. Next they’ll be calling the condition of disobedience selective hearing.) There have been good days and not-so-good days in the educating of mother. But progress has been made and for the most part it is not the child that has changed but me.

I have come to realize that each one of my children is unique: physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. Whoa! Did you know that? We are all different! So why was I expecting them to fill the same mold, learn the same way, be the same, when they are not? That one little discovery has made a big impact on how I treat and teach each of my children. Gathering information about the stages in a child’s development, the effects of birth order, and varying learning styles has helped also. So has a lot of prayer and patience.

Because they are different doesn’t mean they get to follow different sets of rules however. Each has to clean and do chores, but they can do it in their own way. Each has to be respectful and polite, and there are different ways to do that too. It is my job to guide them, help them, teach them.

I admit I dropped the ball on Sunday with Laura. She told us how she was feeling and still we unfairly expected a two year old to sit still for church. There are good days and not-so-good days. Caution: education of mother still in progress!

If you'd like to read more Woman to Woman posts or even participate just mosey on over to My Many Colored Days or Seeds From My Garden to find links to other women's views on this week's topic of parenting or grandparenting children that have difficult personalities... be they temperamental children or children with issues like ADD, sensory dysfunction, or developmental delays.