Monday, July 09, 2007

So happy together

"Whether you've been married for 38 years, 8 years or are a newlywed, you've probably picked up a few of the keys to a happy marriage, one which is nurturing and continues to grow. Maybe your marriage has struggled, but you've found a road back to each other and have insights for those in similar situations. What would you say are the three most key elements in your marriage that keep the romance alive and the heart aflutter? "

Our wedding announcement photo

Joseph and I have been married for 12 1/2 years now. Because we believe marriage is eternal we were married in the Salt Lake Temple. We each covenanted with God that we'd stay true to each other. It's rather surreal how it seems like just yesterday we were married, and at the same time, it seems like we've been married for ages. I truly feel we have the 'ideal' relationship. I don't know of any other couple that gets along as well as we do. We truly are made for each other, which is a rather strange thing to say because we are so different in many ways. However, we are alike in many more ways. It's hard to narrow down the things we do to keep our marriage happy and healthy but here goes.

#1
We unselfishly serve each other. Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100. We try our best to make sure the other is comfortable, happy, and cared for. After a long day of work Joseph deserves to come home to a clean house, a good meal, happy children, and a loving (not nagging) wife. Joseph, in turn, works hard to provide for my needs and my wants. We've been blessed with very little problems or disagreements throughout our marriage. When one does creep up it's usually because of selfishness. We've come to recognize that and are quick to fix it.

Along with making sure our physical needs are met, we try to also make sure emotional needs are met. We compliment each other. When I'm told "You look beautiful today" it sends my heart soaring.


#2
Pray together. Nothing compares to the sweet spirit that comes when you petition the Lord as a couple for the welfare of your family.

#3
Small talk and love notes. We both look forward to the end of each day when the kids have all been sent to bed, usually by 9pm. The house is quiet and it's just us. In the winter time we sip hot chocolate, in the summer we drink chocolate milkshakes and just talk - about our days, our goals, the children, the gospel. This is our time. On the days when we know we won't be able to talk - like during the haying season - we leave love notes for the other to find. I'll slip one in his boot where he'll find it in the morning or he'll snap a picture of himself holding a sign that says "I love you, Shorty" that I'll see when I upload pictures onto the computer. The notes aren't fancy just short, sweet and to the point. They are little reminders that we are thinking of one another.

So there you go. No fancy words of advice. Just simple acts we do for our marriage. They work for us.
After 12 years of marriage, Joseph still melts my heart.

20 comments:

Lei said...

Thank you for sharing your successes with us. I love the littel notes... that is so sweet. :)

MommyK said...

First, that's a great picture. You look nothing like I pictured you in my head, why did I think you were blond? Anyway, you look truly happy in that picture, and it's clear that your happiness has endured. Nice post!

Morning Glory said...

Oh I loved this! Your love notes are so sweet and your perspective is beautiful. I agree with all of it, especially the part about his making your heart melt. I know what that's like after all these years.

Dawn said...

Beautiful picture! Sounds like your busy, but keeping the coupleness at the top of the list!

Julie said...

I so very much agree with all your points. My husband and I get along swimmingly as well. We're celebrating our 15th anniversary today.

One thing I have always loved about our relationship is our ability to talk about things. We can and do talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and I really believe that has a great deal to do with our success. There is nothing hidden, and there is nothing taboo.

I think another thing has been that we have made a real effort to share each other's interests. When I was in school, I had convinced myself that I HATED sports. Since I got married, I quite enjoy watching a game with my hubby and he has encouraged me to develop my physical skills. I thought I had NO skills, and now I realize I'm better than I thought I was.

Siiigh. He's an awesome catch! :-)

Julie said...

I just wanted to add that you look SO BEAUTIFUL in that picture!

SingForHim 94 @ Real Life said...

How sweet. It seems like you two are keeping it fresh!

Susie said...

Lovely photo! All the things you're doing will certainly assure you of a deep foundation for a lifetime of wedded happiness!
:)

Jen said...

I loved your comment about marriage being 100/100! I've heard that before and that is so true.

Michelle said...

I think your #1 is so important. I really try to work on that one. It's hard, but many blessing come from it. Really cute wedding announcement photo. :D

Inga said...

Wow you are gorgeous! It is funny though I pictured you as a blond, too. Your comments on marriage beautiful!!

Craig said...

Very nice post Montze. We have learned that some of the simplest things can make the biggest difference! You have made some very good points!

Also, you haven't aged a bit in 12 years, but Joseph sure has! LOL. Be sure and tell him I said so!

Sue "Sioux" Seibert said...

Beautiful words! Lovely meanings! Good for you.

Myrna said...

What a sweet relationship--I love the little notes.

mumple said...

100-100 is truly the only way to be committed to your partner in marriage.

I'm glad that you and your husband each treasure what you have with each other.

Gran - (Angela) said...

What a wonderful post.It is important to keep the communitation alive in your relationship. It is a 100% - 100% that molds the marriage together.
Thanks for sharing with us.

Have a wonderful day!
Angela

SharonB said...

Thank you for sharing. The love notes are a wonder idea. We use to do a lot of that in the beginning of our marriage...humm...maybe it's time to pick it up again. :-)

Tristi Pinkston said...

Thank you for this great reminder about what marriage is supposed to be about. I think we get too caught up in the little mundane things sometimes to concentrate on the big picture.

Oh, and we were married in the Salt Lake Temple too, and I have a Benjamin, Ammon and Joseph. :)

The Newlywife said...

I have truly fallen in love with your blog! The design of it and the pure look of it, not to mention the blog entries. It's refreshing to read someone talking about the gospel in general conversation without it being a sacrament talk LOL!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Excellent advice. Marriage is always about giving 100/100 so when one temporarily falls short, the marriages stays alive.