Food Fungus

"Mom, I can't find any clean storage containers to put the left-overs in."

Hmmm, I guess I'd better clean out the fridges. I think it's been a while.

"I'll do it for you since Ira's making you hold him."

Thanks, Eve!

I can hear rustling and clinking noises coming from the first fridge. "Mom, is this sauce from yesterday or last week?"

Last week.

"Do you want me to check the dates on the cottage cheese, sour cream and yogurt?"

Sure.

"Gross! These say December 23 and January 15." Thunk! Into the trash go two old cottage cheese containers. "Should I clean the fruit bins?"

Yes, I guess you'd better.

"Ugh! Aren't these slimy balls the key limes you bought at Thanksgiving?"

Yes. I answer sheepishly.

"Mom! They're as old as Ira! This is disgusting. I'm going to throw out all the other fruit that was in with them, okay?"

Good idea. While you're at it just take out all the left-overs, even from yesterday, and we'll give the fridges a fresh, clean start.

Marie holds Ira so I can start chucking all the old food speckled with white and green mold down the garbage disposal. The smell becomes sickly sweet- down goes the baked beans from New Year's, turkey pot pie, chicken and stuffing, gravy, 1 month old mashed potatoes, 2 containers of chicken noodle soup. I'm beginning to see a trend. Only food containing some kind of poultry has decided to reside in our fridges. Eve holds Ira so Marie can attack the last fridge. I begin scrubbing down the first one. I become inebriated with the intoxicating smell of bleach. DIE you moldy scum! With one squirt I will annihilate you! HAHAHA! No Mercy! DIE! DIE!

"Um,Mom, are you okay?"

Yes, dear. Just trying to have a little fun. I look at our sink now full of a myriad of containers. When we are done we will have gone through 3 wash cloths, about half a bottle of Clorox clean-up, 2 rounds each holding Ira, and about 100 sneezes.

The results?

We now have two sparkling clean (empty) refrigerators.

Later that evening. . .

"Man, what did you put in here?" Joseph attempts to get the trash bag out of the trash can.

Well, we cleaned out the fridges.

Joseph gets the bag out. "Are you sure you just didn't put the whole fridge in here?" He holds up the bag. It's stretched to the limit.

We tried.